i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
