whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
