i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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