insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
