good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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