We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
