just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
