Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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