3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
