so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
