you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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