Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
