her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
do herpes really smell.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
