she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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