Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
