there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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