He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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