I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
