Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
