just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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