just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
