And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
