This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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