That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
