Having a random hookup so left but love u
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
