you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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