if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
