im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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