Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
