worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
