thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
