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• (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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• (661): View more from California

  Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation

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• (415): View more from California

  so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed

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• (360): View more from Washington

  After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.

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• (914): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me

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• (432): View more from Texas

  Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  My drug dealer was just on ESPN..

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