He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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