apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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