hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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