I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
