I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
