he told me I talked like a deaf person
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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