I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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