i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
