I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
