You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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