is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize