Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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