I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
