i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
