I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
