people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
