Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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