eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
