I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
