She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
