Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
