Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sober January is a disaster.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think your dad took our porno
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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