So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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