He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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