Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
