i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
