she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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