I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
