I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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