Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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