I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
