I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize