I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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