did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Floor bacon is actually really good
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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