i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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