So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
