We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
