I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
