Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize