Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
