Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
