playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
