Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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